1. Hair - Goths will have jet black or crappy, home-dyed hair. Nothing else explains their inner turmoil like dyed hair. Often times, Goths will become so non-conformist or burnt out on the image that they'll let their roots show. Warning: These Goths are the bitchiest.
2. Shallowness - Goths love white pancake makeup. They also love spending time on making makeup spider webs, blood trails, or some other stupid shit to express their devotion to the cause. Goths also love colored contact lenses. Everyone knows albino eyes rock! Seriously, though, for people who want to be known as Goths are the most shallow people I know, even more than their archenemy, "Preps."
3. Piercing and Lobe Stretching - This one's too easy. No one, and I mean no one, can defend it. It's just stupid.
4. Clothing - Black, silver accessories, or stupid neon-colored rave shit. Shops only at Hot Topic and Spencers.
5. Talking - Goths love death, dying, blood, vampires, paranormal, black, magic, depression, Anne Rice, cutting themselves, etc. stupid shit. Anyone you find talking about any the former or something similar will identify as at least accepting Goths, if not, more likely, identifying as one.
6. Entertainment/Hobbies - Raves, Anne Rice, Stephen King, Joy Division, Bauhaus, Nine Inch Nails, Marilyn Manson, Tibetan Book of the Dead (the band), cutting themselves, sitting in clusters, smoking, orgies, dying their muff, writing shitty poetry, drawing pictures of anguish and darkness, being "enlightened," not giving a shit about what anyone else thinks (except other Goths), being "non-conformist," parading at amusement parks just to see people's double takes (Forty bucks for just that. I've seen it more than once.), threatening suicide, inhabiting the Internet, writing stupid quizzes, and, most of all, leading shitty existences.
7. Likes/Hates - Likes everything Goth. Hates everything not Goth.
8. Types: All Goths fall in at least two of the categories.
Vampire Goth - Obsessed with Vampire: The Masquerade and Anne Rice. Either identifies self as an actual vampire or as a sanguarian. A sanguarian is a person who believes they actually need to drink blood to stay alive. I wonder how these dipshits made it through childhood in the first place.
2 comments:
I don't totally agree with all of your points. Yes, your points are valid and true for some...maybe even most goths, however, not all of them are as such.
Very nicely stated. It is obvious you have some self esteem issues since you seem to feel the need to belittle other people so you can feel better about yourself.
The music and body art you use as examples only furthers your own ability to demonstrate that you actually know noting about what you are talking about.
I suppose people who conform to your opinions of what is appropriate as far as appearance and preferences are God's gift to us all though.
I certainly would like to think you are not actually this stupid and idiotic, but I'm probably just talking to a wall. Maybe I should piss on the wall instead. Might make a better impression.
If only I could be part of the conformers that carry your label. You probably think you are cool when you look at yourself. You aren't, not as long as you spend so much energy judging others instead of being yourself, not what you think people want you to be. You are a sheep.
Wouldn't that be funny to watch you choke in the Gap as you try to be acceptable and fashionable? What a youtube moment that would be. You can even write an "alternative" angsty song about it to impress everyone with your coolness.
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